Stepping Up Newsletter #13 - February 2020
Issue 13 | February, 2020
A newsletter, written with joy, for the curious, adventurous, and modern-day action-takers of the world.
This email contains affiliate links. If you click through to a product and make a purchase, I may receive a commission (at no additional cost to you). Thanks for your support in this way.
I'm getting back into the swing of things - writing a newsletter each month and being in regular communication with you. Until now, I've been sharing small, short tidbits about a lot of different things. I'm going to continue this practice, but in today's newsletter, I'm also including a short piece I wrote about personal leadership.
My intention with each issue is to share concepts, topics, and info with you that have been of value and service to me in my life... and ones that I think will strike a cord with you too. If so... mission accomplished! If not, well, I'll try again next month.
As always, if you have a question about anything, email me back. Rest assured that I'm the "man behind the curtain" here... no gatekeepers or other blocks to reaching me directly. I love hearing from you, and welcome the opportunity to further be of service in whatever capacity I can.
Hope you enjoy the newsletter and have a great month!
Andy
On Personal Leadership
As a life coach, I often work with clients and groups on the topic of personal leadership and it's expression in life. This month it has occupied a lot of space in my mind as I have the personal intention of personally stepping into a greater level of leadership in my life and business.
So I guess you could say I’ve been hosting an inquiry, asking myself questions like… What does leadership really mean? Who is the one leading? Why don't I step up into it more readily and easily? How do I lead authentically? What are the virtues of a good leader? Why is it so hard for me to feel authentic as a leader? When will I feel like I'm good enough, and well qualified enough?
During this inquiry, I've realized a few things... one of them being that for me, leadership has always been the equivalent of "measure-ship". Yes, I know... "measure-ship" isn't even a word, but the two things, leadership and measurement, have been so intertwined in my way of thinking that it only made sense to write it this way.
So in other words, the way I hold leadership on the inside is that it's always about measuring. Good vs. better. Fast vs. faster. Smart vs. smarter. Qualified vs. more-qualified. In my mind, the leader should always be the bettter, faster, smarter, more qualified - bar none. And I ALWAYS come out on the short end of the stick.
This has put me in never-ending internal competition with others (unbeknownst to them) - doing, achieving, proving, and showing - and has made me resist raising my hand, stepping into the arena, volunteering to lead, even when it's in my wheelhouse. When using my internal leadership measuring device (ILMD), something that I have been unconsciously developing for the past 50 years, there aren't ever any "ties" or equals... someone else is always better, faster, smarter, and more qualified. My ILMD has made sure I have always been lesser than someone else, and when not, it makes things up so that I don't ever stop believing that.
It's no wonder I've NEVER felt authentic or comfortable leading. I've always felt like I'm not the right guy for the job, like I'm the imposter. My ILMD has made sure that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is someone out there more suited for the job than I am, someone more qualified, who is faster, stronger, more agile, more experienced, better with the spoken word, more adept at writing, better with strategy, more competent at marketing, a stronger athlete. I have NEVER measured up in any category. Ever.
And because I've always thought this way, I've set up my life to try to prove it otherwise. I've invested time, money effort in getting certifications, training, education, and degrees. I've risen to the top of pretty much everything I've tried - trumpet, USMC, sales, adventure racing, massage therapy, corrective exercise trainer, CrossFit coach and athlete in an effort to prove to myself that I am enough.
But the fear has always won out... that if I claim the lead, I'll get it wrong, will look foolish, prove my unworthy, fail publicly, miserably, and be "found out".
So the joke... it's been on me. In 53 years, I've not yet found a way to provide myself with enough external validation to make me feel good or worthy enough. As I have gained experience, qualifications, certifications, and validation from the external world, my inner scale has moved, shifted to the right, so still, I don't measure up.
But the inquiry this past month... it's making a difference, as it's helping me to see that the real work is not external, it's a shift on the INSIDE that matters most. If I don't think it or believe it, I certainly won't feel it or act like it - even if I'm going through the motions.
The questions I started asking myself this month were things like:
What if I'm wrong.
What if I have it completely backward?
What if all the qualifications, knowledge, certifications in the world won't change anything?
What if by waiting to feel it, I've set up an endless loop that will have me waiting until I die to feel good about leading?
What if the leader isn't necessarily the smartest, fastest, most experienced or knowledgable, but rather, is the person that is simply willing to think they are, declare they are, and to stand up and claim it?
What if leadership isn’t something you have to earn or accomplish at all?
What if the feeling of being qualified to lead comes from the thoughts that I have about myself leading?
What if the leader doesn’t have to have it all figured out?
What if the leader is figuring it out just like everyone else, but is committed to forging a path, and leading others down it?
What if it’s supposed to feel uncomfortable?
What if the greatest leaders feel the fear are uncertain and full of doubt, but forge ahead with their fear loaded up in their backpack because of their commitment to something bigger, and their belief?
These aren't the "right" questions... they're just the ones I chose to start asking. And the conclusion I came to after all this thinking is that if I wait to lead until I'm qualified, have enough external validation, "measure up", or have no fear, doubt, or uncertainty, I'll end up waiting for the rest of my life!
I'm ready when I say I'm ready. And there is no need to wait... the fear will always be there. Courage is the willingness to act in the face of fear. I've experienced it personally snowboarding and kayaking... there is no getting rid of it... performing in these sports is about acting in spite of the doubt and fear. And leadership... well, it's the same.
So... what do you think? Where do you find yourself on this scale? Where do you find yourself not measuring up? Do you avoid volunteering to lead because you think you're unqualified, or there is someone else better? Are you on an endless quest for certifications, degrees, or external validation? Where are you unwilling to lead because of fear, a lack of confidence or courage, or the thought that you can’t? Who & where would you lead if you knew you couldn't fail?
It's this sort of inquiry that I do with my coaching clients... helping them see things that are holding them back, keeping them stuck, limiting their growth, preventing them from making the difference they want to in the lives of their family, friends, work, or in the world. This work involves helping them make small shifts in their inner world reality (how they perceive, accept, respect, love, and honor themselves). And these shifts transform the way they think, feel and take action, which then leads to exponential growth in any aspect of their lives.
I encourage you to do a self-inquiry like this of your own. Find where you're missing out on the benefits of leadership, where you're stuck, not stepping into your courage, being brave, or leading the way you've always known you could. Look for the way you're feeling and thinking, and how it might be holding you back. And if you find an area like this (most of us have at least one), don’t set out to try to fix it, rather, just start to notice. That alone can cause you to shift.
We all have valuable leadership qualities. We are all leading ourselves and others somewhere in our lives. But take it from me, our inner reality is often out of alignment with our outer world. By taking the time to get them aligned - you'll start to seeing things differently, thinking, feeling and acting differently, and that version of you will be capable of breaking through anything that has ever stood in your way.
The FreeStyle Libre lets you monitor your glucose levels continuously - it's a gamechanger!
Perhaps it's just my innate curiosity, but I've always (at least for the past 25 years) been fascinated by the effects of food and diet on blood sugar levels. As a nutrition coach, it's one of the most important concepts. If you can get a client to understand the impact of questionable dietary choices on blood sugar levels, the associated sustained secretion of insulin, and how that leads to the storage of body fat, you help him/her unlock the key to reducing the risk of diabetes, improving overall health, and driving weight loss.
But up until now, you either had to trust that it was happening the way I described it, or you had to run a quick, instantaneous blood test (which didn't give you any sort of general trends).
Enter the FreeStyle Libre. With a sensor you wear on the back of your arm, it monitors your blood glucose levels continually. By uploading the data to a reader (or an app on your phone), you can see and track the trends. This gives you direct, physical feedback, and helps to show you the impact of your dietary choices on blood glucose levels and insulin. It's powerful!
If you have ever had any struggles with weight control, or know someone who has, wearing this device is a no-brainer, even if it's just for a couple of weeks.
You'll need a prescription from your doc to get one, and if you aren't pre-diabetic, you'll have to pay for it out of pocket (about $150 for the first month). If you have any questions about it, shoot me an email.
Video I'm Obsessed with
I've read several books by Dr. Joe Dispenza, like Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, or his most recent, Becoming Supernatural.
But this short video does the best I've seen of capturing the transformational and healing philosophy he teaches to sold-out audiences all over the world.
His personal story is incredible. Paralyzed in a cycling accident, he completely healed his spine, without surgery, simply through the power of concentrated and focused thought.
Listen in with an open mind. If you decide it's too "out there" for you, you may know someone just might benefit from giving his way of thinking and healing a try.
Quote to Ponder
“Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.“
~ Norman Vincent Peale
Ditch the pods and k cups
My wife loves her latte's... and when her single-cup brewer went "kerphleuey", she asked me to help her pick out a new one (I love doing the research on stuff like that).
I found what looked like the best (a machine that used pods or k cups - can't quite remember) and came very close to pulling the trigger. But after doing just a little more research about the environmental impact of single-cup brewing machines, I just couldn't get myself to do it because of statements like ths: "The number of K-Cups that have been trashed in landfills could wrap around the planet 10 times."
Even if this statement isn't 100% factual, the idea that it might be even close to that is highly disturbing.
And while there might be plenty of other things that are causing a significantly greater negative environmental impact on our planet, this one was one of those for which I chose to draw the line.
So instead, we saved $150, and picked up one of these. I know it's not "real" espresso (like you'd make with a commercial machine), but neither is what comes out of a Keurig. And though it takes a tiny bit more effort and time, Julia has embraced it. When you're ready for a new brewer, perhaps you'll consider the same!
Last but not least
I got to sit down for a conversation with my friend Joe DiStefano on his podcast called "Stacked" for a conversation about health, well being, and a host of other things. Check it out here.
Parting Thoughts
I've been uncomfortable for just about my entire adult life with the public acknowledgment of others. It's not that I have anything against it, it's just that I'm usually off to the next thing before I give that person the time and attention they deserve for the job they've done or the difference they've made in the world. I'm more aware of this than ever, and am taking time each day to find something to acknowledge others for.
This one is a layup. Earlier this month, my wife, Julia (the beautiful blond in front), earned her first-ever Grammy Award for the soundtrack to the movie, A Star is Born. For me, this award is one that acknowledges the blood, sweat, and tears she has put day after day, year after year for the past 25 years. She's probably the hardest working person I know, and this award, in my eyes, is long overdue! Congrats, Julia!